Make no mistake about it, I think Woody Allen is a disgusting little man. C'mon, hooking up with your longtime girlfriend's teenage daughter? That is vile. Plus, your teenage lover is also your son's sister! You need to go on Jerry Springer with that nonsense. But even so, Mr. Allen has an unmatched career in film, so I've got to give him that.
I was never a Woody Allen film fan, though. I found his characters unlikable and his dialogue extremely annoying. (And that's why I can never be a serious film critic. Apparently, I have no taste.) Then I saw Vicki Cristina Barcleona and Midnight in Paris. I found those two movies beautiful, charming and thoroughly enjoyable. Of films I've seen in the last several years, I'd put those up near the top of my list. I have seen Vicki Cristina three or four times, and, although I've only seen Midnight in Paris once, I'd be more than happy to see it several more times. So despite some pretty crappy reviews, it was hard for me to imagine that I wouldn't enjoy Woody Does Rome. I mean he was, after all, a barrel of fun in Paris and Barcelona.
Well, it was definitely not a barrel this time around. Maybe like a styrofoam cupful. The film is comprised of three vignettes, none of which fully took flight. Ya know how that little movie-review man from the SF Chronicle kinda sits in his chair with a mild, pursed-lipped grin? It's kinda like that. I rather liked Smart-Alec Baldwin, and Penelope Cruz is always an eyeful, but everything else was just barely amusing. I chuckled a few times. It was certainly a pleasant enough way to spend a couple of hours, but that's about it. And Woody was actually one of the actors this time around.
And how is Mr. Woody looking these days? Well, I certainly hope his daughter/wife is enjoying the money, cuz she sure ain't enjoying the sex. (I'm sorry. Did I say that out loud? Beg pardon.)