Friday, August 29, 2014

Jules' Bad Book Synopses----#thesynopsesarebadnotthebooks

Jules' Bad Book Synopses----#thesynopsesarebadnotthebooks

Surely Drugs Were Involved

The Wizard of Oz

Girl gets hit on head during tornado, has major acid flashback. #Iseelittlepeopleandflyingmonkeys

Alice in Wonderland  and Through the Looking Glass

Girl falls down hole, hits head (c'mon, it probably happened), has acid flashback. Girl tries acid again (I'm assuming) and crashes through the mirror and has even more hallucinations. #Iseerabbitsinwwaistcoats

A Christmas Carol

Grouchy, elderly gentleman has bad indigestion leading to stomach-acid flashbacks AND flashforwards and learns the true meaning of Christmas.

Peter Pan and Wendy

Irresponsible parents go off to party leaving their three kids home alone with the dog. Homeless boy breaks in through bedroom window, gives kids "pixie dust" (LSD?). Kids think they can fly and go out the window and see pirates and mermaids and god-only-knows whatall. #yourdogisnotababysitter                               
                                              Classics and Favorites

Jane Erye

Dumb girl marrries guy who kept first wife locked in the attic. #beinglockedintheatticdoesnotimprovementalhealth

To Kill a Mockingbird

Looney-toon guy next door saves the day.  #Booradleyrocks

A Catcher in the Rye

Weirdo fictional character Holden Caufield ends up being a twisted inspiration for real-life loners and weirdoes.  (Okay, that's not really a synopsis of the book. Just what actually happened in life).  #thanksalotjdsalinger

The Giving Tree

Selfish little pr*ck destroys talking tree.  #EPA911

                                                  Contemporary Hits

Pillars of the Earth

How to build a church under very bad work and life conditions while tons of crap happens that I can't even remember. #veryentertainingbutsomuchhappensiforgotwhathappens

Gone Girl

Crazy b*tch gets even with husband, who also turns out to be crazy. #youpeopleshouldbeinsitutionalized  #mrrochesterhasanatticforyou

Harry Potter

Scar-faced orphan battles Satan with the support of positive gay role model.  #itwillneversell

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Finally! Another Food Post: Let's Talk Burger Joints

Let's talk burger joints. For this 'report', I'll skip the usual fast food drive-thrus.

I tried The Habit for the first time today. Service was good.


1. They have a teriyaki burger with grilled pineapple.
2. They have milkshakes made with real ice cream and topped with whipped cream.
3. They have tempura green beans. Nice plump ones.


1. Bun was too dry, making it taste a tad stale. Five Guys has very delicious, fresh-tasting buns.
2. French fries are meh. French fries are better at Five Guys by a landslide.
3. Burger patty is too small.  The Little Cheeseburger at Five Guys seems more substantial.

So, for burgers and fries in general, Five Guys wins by a mile. My male counterpart agreed. However, if you have a hankering for teriyaki, a good milkshake, or tempura green beans, The Habit may warrant a visit.

I tried Roam Artisan Burgers earlier this year. Checked-out some Yelp reviews which were mostly good. The negative reviewers seemed primarily put-off by the prices, and suggested you were better-off at In 'n Out.  

My thoughts:  Yes--it's a little expensive. It's an upscale burger place in Lafayette. What were you expecting?

1. The Classic Burger: I usually enjoy over-cooked, hockey-puck, fast food burgers. However, this was a juicy, meaty burger and it was delicious.
2. The Ginger-Lime soda was GREAT. Potent flavor, which is what I like.
3. Custom Milkshake:  Salted Caramel and Coffee. WHOA. YUM.
4. Fry-fecta: mix of zucchini-onion shoe-strings, regular fries, and sweet potato fries. Very tasty.
5. Asparagus:  Fresh seasonal veggie-of-the-day. Very good. Made with lemon and some kind of Spanish cheese that I can't recall the name of. 

Bonus Points: Girl who took the order was really sweet. Place looked really clean. I would happily go again.  But I still love Five Guys, too.

I've yet to try The Counter, but that'll happen before the year is out, I suspect. Stay-tuned.