Friday, August 29, 2014

Jules' Bad Book Synopses----#thesynopsesarebadnotthebooks

Jules' Bad Book Synopses----#thesynopsesarebadnotthebooks

Surely Drugs Were Involved

The Wizard of Oz

Girl gets hit on head during tornado, has major acid flashback. #Iseelittlepeopleandflyingmonkeys

Alice in Wonderland  and Through the Looking Glass

Girl falls down hole, hits head (c'mon, it probably happened), has acid flashback. Girl tries acid again (I'm assuming) and crashes through the mirror and has even more hallucinations. #Iseerabbitsinwwaistcoats

A Christmas Carol

Grouchy, elderly gentleman has bad indigestion leading to stomach-acid flashbacks AND flashforwards and learns the true meaning of Christmas.

Peter Pan and Wendy

Irresponsible parents go off to party leaving their three kids home alone with the dog. Homeless boy breaks in through bedroom window, gives kids "pixie dust" (LSD?). Kids think they can fly and go out the window and see pirates and mermaids and god-only-knows whatall. #yourdogisnotababysitter                               
                                              Classics and Favorites

Jane Erye

Dumb girl marrries guy who kept first wife locked in the attic. #beinglockedintheatticdoesnotimprovementalhealth

To Kill a Mockingbird

Looney-toon guy next door saves the day.  #Booradleyrocks

A Catcher in the Rye

Weirdo fictional character Holden Caufield ends up being a twisted inspiration for real-life loners and weirdoes.  (Okay, that's not really a synopsis of the book. Just what actually happened in life).  #thanksalotjdsalinger

The Giving Tree

Selfish little pr*ck destroys talking tree.  #EPA911

                                                  Contemporary Hits

Pillars of the Earth

How to build a church under very bad work and life conditions while tons of crap happens that I can't even remember. #veryentertainingbutsomuchhappensiforgotwhathappens

Gone Girl

Crazy b*tch gets even with husband, who also turns out to be crazy. #youpeopleshouldbeinsitutionalized  #mrrochesterhasanatticforyou

Harry Potter

Scar-faced orphan battles Satan with the support of positive gay role model.  #itwillneversell

No comments:

Post a Comment